SAHI.. GALAT.. AUR YE ZINDAGI.

#google images

kabhi kabhi mujhe ye samajh nahi aata..

ki sahi aur galat ki paribhasha itni bikhri si kyun hain.

jo paschim me sahi hai.. wo purab me galat...

aur jo purab ke uttar me sahi hai.. wo wahan dakshin me galat..

agar hum iss sabhyta se hain to ye galat hai..

aur uss samaaj se hain to wo galat hai..

jo iss samay sahi hai.. wo beete waqt me galat..

aur jo beete waqt me sahi tha.. unpe to aascharya hota hai.

aadhi se jyada zindagi..

sahi aur galat ki uljhi hui gaanth ko suljhane me hi nikal jaati hai.

agar koi dili iccha bhi ho.. to pehle ye sochna padta hai..

kahin ye kuch galat to nahi.

humare saaare rishton ki buniyad sirf..

sahi aur galat pe tiki hoti hai.

chahe jitna bhi sahi kar lo.. par koi galti nahi honi chahiye.

aur ye kaun bhed kare ki kya galat hai kya sahi..

mujhe isska koi ilm nai.

hum apna sara dhyan.. zindagi bhar..

galtiyon ko dhundhne me laga dete hai..

khas taur pe dusron ki.

har kisi ko aaj apne se jyada dusron ki padi hoti hai..

ye nahi ki wo humari fikr karte hain...

bas shayad isliye..

ki auron, gairon aur..

khastaur se apnon ki zindagi ke chutkule lene me..

hum aur humare samaaj ki khaasi dilchaspi hoti hai.

agar mauka mile to shayad humara samaaj..

zindagi chalane ke liye bhi ek driving license jaari karna shuru kar de..

ki haan bhai ab tum apni zindagi me faisla lene ke kabil ho.

par usme bhi kitni aazadi hogi? shayad kuch bhi nahi.

zindagi ke har mod aur failse pe fir bhi..

humare bade.. rishtedar aur samaajik thulle khade honge..

nahi.. iss baat ki ijazat humara parivar nahi deta..

uss baat ki ijazat humara samaaj nahi deta.

aakhir kis baat ki ijazat hoti hai humen?

shayad sirf "unki iccha ke bina kuch naa karne ki".

parivar.. rishtedar aur samaaj..

sabko sath lekar chalein.. to chalna mushkil.

akele chalein.. to jeena mushkil.

agar hum zidd karke kuch khaas logon ko mana bhi len..

to sabse chhupana padta hai..

"baat ghar ke ander rahni chahiye"

ghum firke har kahani wahin..

sahi aur galat pe aa jaati hai.

chupane se kya haqeekat badal jaati hai?

aaj kise nahi pata.. ki lifafe me lipti botle..

sharab ki hai? nahi.. firbhi chhupana hai.

kya lifafa udha dene se..

uss insaan ke baare me humara nazariya badal jata hai?

nahi.. badalta hai to sirf humara nazariya zahir karne ka tareeka..

saamne ki jagah.. ab hum fusfate hain..

"ssshhh... kaisa aaadmi hai.. roz sharab peeta hai".

are peeta hai to peeta hai.. unki zindagi hai..

use karne do sahi aur galat ka faisla.

par nahi.. galat.. galat.. galat.

agar koi mujhse puche..

ki sahi aur galat ki meri paribhasha kya hai.

to main kahunga...

agar meri zindagi hai.. mera faisla hai..

to sahi hai.

aur meri zindagi faisla tumhara hai..

to galat hai.

naaa jaaane itni chhoti si baat ko samajhne me..

humare parivar, rishtedar aur samaaj ko..

kitna aur waqt lagega.

Disconnected

I don’t know what I really wanna write.. probably I wanna talk.. talk to the point where I get so exhausted that I crash wherever I stand. Lately there had been so much shit going on in life.. my life.. that I have kinda accepted it as a fact that Life is shit.. nothing else. Somehow.. life is extra shitty when you come from a country like India.

No one cares about you.. not just not as much as you yourself do... but not at all.. probably not even your parents. In a money minded and show-off culture like ours.. nothing is more important than how society looks at us.. how they talk to us.. what they talk about us. If you have money to give away.. lend.. or even to show off.. people would lick your arse every morning.. noon and night.

When u are committed to something.. people start using your commitment against you. Will make you feel as beggar.. and well.. beggars are not choosers. So, you have no right to think about yourself. If you are committed.. you have given all the rights to the people around you to stab u again and again... probably until you bleed out.

Some people say that suicide is an easy thing.. running away is easy and thats what suicide is all about.. and that we shud think about people who we leave behind us.. Enough has already been said about people and dear ones.. But I wonder if its that easy a thing to do.. or may be I have always had half hearted feelings about it. May be I am too spineless to find such an easy task as the most daunting one.

Life had always been partial with me. I wonder why life regards me with such animosity. I always had to go that extra mile to achieve the most trivial thing.. though my siblings will have a different opinion.. but my friends who have known me for past couple of years will vouch for that. Half of my life went down the drain struggling for something or the other. I feel tired now. I feel like giving up.

I wonder how much strength it takes to leave everything behind. Everything and everyone you cared about. Probably, a lot. It amazes me how we hold on to hypothetical things and hypocrite people.. and give so much of our life to them.. that we end being nothing but just some use and throw paper napkins.. not just to be torn and thrown away but to be shredded piece by piece before they are dumped in the bin.

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♫ ♫ "If what they say is 'Nothing is forever'.. what makes love the exception?" ~ hey ya, outkast

Life moves on. Without you.

courtesy# weheartit.com

It was one final good bye.. about two months ago. At that time I was so unsure about this. I never thought we could pull it off.. I could pull it off.

August 31.. our last evening together. Oh boy.. what fun we had till wee hours of the morning. That one night when you didn't let me sleep.. and.. I didn't stop.

Then.. the very next morning.. the unfortunate happened. I fell sick. Initially we both controlled.. u seducing me.. I having you. But things only got worse. And then.. who would have thought that the physician would advice me complete abstinence from you.

Now.. When I go to a restaurant or pub.. I order a glass of orange juice.. enjoy it.. and then order one more. Life moves on. Without you.

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♫ ♫ "would you believe me when I tell you.. you're the queen of my heart" ~ Love Buzz, Nirvana 

You Can't Always Get What You Want.

courtesy# weheartit.com

once in a while you somehow get sometime to spend with yourself. just you.. and your self. you inevitably end up introspecting.. about your current state and crib about how an ordeal your life is turning out to be. believe it or not.. there are only a very few moments in life when you are satiated with your current state in life. then you go in retrospection and smile at all those wonderful moments life has given you.. the lovely moments that shall remain forever etched in your memory.. moments that you would love to relive again and over again.

let's say somehow your life as in current state is like a beautiful ride through a lush green european country side. picture perfect. well.. if not everything.. atleast somethings in life are always picture perfect. we either notice them.. or let them pass by failing to cherish them. it's how you and i are.. just human. nevertheless.. if you feel happy about something.. you end up dreaming about how much more wonderful it could be few days, months, or years down the line. you can see and feel colours all around.. bright.. vibrant.. happy. but optimism doesn't come to everyone of us very easy. sometimes.. its just the sign of a beginning.. when your life is somehow guided by 'how you want it to be'.

with time you would have fantasised so much about how wonderful life is gonna be.. that.. one small thing that comes out of equation sets you in a state of restlessness. either u get completely freaked out.. or u try to think of a plan-B. but that wont stop you from freaking out with a slight push off the edge once in a while. out of the myriad of stupid things god ever created.. human brain truly steals the show. it will always.. always always do.. what it must not. it will take you on to a horrible ride of how things are falling apart.. how everything is going left and not right.. instead of telling you that everything will be allright.

but.. the worse would yet be.. when you somehow land up in everything all at once.. together. when your feelings are mixed.. confused.. inexplicably strange. one moment you feel happy and next moment you are sad.. and then the very next moment you are scared. there is no easy escape from the labrynthine thoughts that you get tied to. you keep having altercations with and within urself.. the altercations that somehow either end abruptly.. or the ones that you dont know how to end. just like.. this one.

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.. but if you try sometime.. you just might find.. you get what you need. ♫ ♫

Life...

image: weheartit.com

Scared! Scared of yourself.. Scared of your feelings.. Scared of your way of looking at life.. Scared of your belief on relationships.. Scared of unselfish friendship.. Scared of Your love for someone.. You are scared.

You are not sure what you will be doing a little later in life.. and you can’t even look out for the answer.. because.. you don’t even know what exactly you are doing right now! You are scared of the uncertain future.. just because you feel your present hasn’t been good the way you wanted it to be. You ask yourself same question again and again.. and again. You talk to your friends of the same things. You are scared of taking a decision. You want to win.. but you don’t want to play! You are scared of the sun’s heat, unaware of the light it brings.

Scared of coming in front of someone.. a special someone. Scared of looking straight into her eyes. And you ask yourself “why?”. But the question remains unanswered. You think all weird.. You put in every odd combination of time and place.. and then get scared. You think of her all the time, walking, driving, sleeping, and dreaming. You find her every where, class, library, market, playground, canteen and cinema. But then one day you realize your heart’s broken. Well.. somebody else asked her out and you were a little late. What do you do now? Think.. cry.. dream.. and start all over again.. a new phase. And then again you find yourself.. thinking of her. But this “her” may not be the same. And you are scared. Will it happen again? Will your heart be broken again? What if the former loves you and the later doesn’t? You lie down. Stare at the sky. Scared again! Scared of all the “what?” in your life.

You suddenly realized that people around you are selfish.. and may be the friends you thought you were very close to.. are not actually the best people one can be around with. They are certainly not the greatest you ever met. And then you tend to realize.. the people who are now too far from you.. are some of the most important ones in your life! But you fail to see that they too might be feeling the same way. They might be confused and scared as you are. You are still scared. Scared to make the first move to get them back into your life.

You are scared of where you are. You want to create a space for yourself in the crowd. You want people to know you.. You want your presence to be felt.. You try.. Your opinions get stronger.. and You get nosey. You look into the matters of others, and find yourself judging more than usual.. because you feel you have better answers for life. You tend to help people in every matter; people whom you think are your friend. But then one day you realize.. there were certain boundaries in your life and so in everyone’s life which are constantly adding things to the list of.. what is acceptable and what isn’t. You learn that you got to act differently in front of different faces. And you are scared again. Scared of putting up a wrong mask at a wrong place. Scared of being what you are not.

You are scared of changing yourself as required. You try to stick to your beloved past with your life and then you feel.. the harder you try to hold on to the past.. the faster it moves further and further away from you. Away! And then you aren’t left with any choice but to move on.. Move ahead with what you have – A bunch of experience. You laugh at yourself.. you cry.. you scream.. You feel alone.. Confused and Scared.

You are scared.. and so are others. Scared of everything.. anything. And that’s life.

02:00 AM, 16th March 2007

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P.S. Song for the post.. Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head 

You..

 

more u push it away..
more it drags u with itself..
u close ur eyes..
and there it is.. again.
grrr.. what r u doing?
c'mon stop cribbing...
stop talking abt it..
it doesnt help!
best is to let go..
take a deep breath..
no no.. do not think..
just be what u are..
just be what u were..
do what u always wanted to..
eat that u always cherished..
dream what u always did..
listen to songs u never tried..
and.. be with people..
who make u happy..
who make u feel special..
who make u feel.. You!

image : weheartit.com

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P.S. I decided to henceforth share a song with my posts.. so here goes the first one...."Dumb" by Nirvana. Hope you enjoy listening to it.

walking another mile..

here i am..
walking another mile.
the last one..
had experiences..
both..good and bad.
good gave me..
memories to cherish..
and bad.. lessons to learn.
so had each one given me..
i mean..
all the miles i ever walked.
some success..
to be the momentous king,
and some failures..
to be slave of my own thoughts.
so had i been lucky?
to see them all through..
thick or thin.
or is it my own will..
that helped me cross?
well... i dont know...
but i prefer not to stop..
so.. here i am...
walking another mile..

image : weheartit.com

Coffee?

Its said....

"a lot can happen over coffee"

I say....

"a lot more happens over Tequila"

;)

image : weheartit.com

Kuch Karke Jana Hai..

mann maajhi jo ho..

to kya jarurat fir naao ki..

mazaa jo lena ho lahron ka..

taair ke jana hai..

parr sapno ke jo hon..

to kya jarurat fir raat ki..

chhoona ho gar aasman ko..

udd ke jana hai..

dariya apna jeevan jo ho..

to kya jarurat fir boondon ki..

pyaas bujhani ho jo ghat ki..

doob ke jana hai..

aag humari soch jo ho..

to kya jarurat fir badal ki..

paar jo karna ho suraj ko..

jalaake jana hai..

rang humare saathi jo hon..

to kya jarurat fir barsaat ki..

panaa ho jo indradhanush ko..

aasman rang ke jana hai..

image: weheartit.com

BECAUSE OF YOU

I had a colorful life. With colors around. All around. My frends were happy and so was I. All we did all day was to lay lazy where we were... do nothing... just chit chatting.. joking and having fun....... until one day... when i was sold...

he took me with him.. he looked happy... and the evil grin on his face really scared me... i dont know what he was upto... i hoped i would be safe.. but u know how it is.... he held me.. and made me sit in the front.. he held me with one hand and balanced with the other.. he knew... if i get a chance.. i would run away... so he kept holding me all the way... and held me so tight that it started to hurt... but.. i cant complain... its against the protocol...

he slows down... i guess this is where he lives... holding me he gets off his bi-cycle.. leaves it to the support of the courtyard walls and moves inside... he took me to a room.. it had nothing but a wooden bed with a home made mattress on it... by the side there is a wooden cupboard.. pretty old... a table fan at a corner.. and by the shabby looking window is kept an oil lamp... he makes me sit on the bed and closes the window.. he then leaves me there closing the door behind....

so.. i lay here in the dark.. thinking of what all is about to come... it looks like he knows what he is doing... so i am not that scared.. but yes... i am scared a little.. after all its gonna be my first time... so, untill this moment.. i didnt imagine anything too bad.... but.. worse strikes only when u cdnt imagine it would be coming... i could hear some voices coming from the courtyard.... the door opened.. and there he was... back.. with a couple of his friends...... and now i am scared...

They got closer... staring at me with an awe of happiness and i dont know what... I went blank.. nothing could go on my mind.. i stopped thinking... Just lowered my eyes... and left everything to my fate... he held me by the side and took me outside... his friends followed... i did not have any guts to look around me.. or look at the back... or even raise my eyes... i just did what i was asked to.. with my eyes lowered I could just see the wheels of the bicycle laying against the wall... the well and kept by it was the bucket which had lost its shape and colour... I sat down on the floor... they surrounded me.. and i could barely see any light.... then something happened...

something pinched around my neck and my waist... the acute pain made me faint.. and the blur faces was the last thing i remember.. i dont know what happened to me.. i dont know how long i had been in that state... when i opened my eyes... i could see the sky.... i turned.. i was in an open field... well atleast it seemed like one... i heard some water flowing.. i got up and sat... yeah there was a river....

and then... i felt the pain again... and i realised i was tied around my neck and waist... before I could figure out what was happening to me... i experience a sudden pull and there i was..... taking my first flight... within a few minutes.. i was almost touching the sky... reaching out to the rainbow... feeling the colours... feeling the happiness of being what i am meant to be... to fly... and when i looked down... i could see the excitement in their eyes...

had it not been him.. i would have never known..... what i could do.. what i am capable of.. had he not held the string right... i would never had the safe flight... had he not been there... i would have never known... how high could i fly.... because of him... i am living my dream... :) :)

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a summer when..

It was too hot one summer..

and i wanted to dive and float,

in water blue and cold.

then i saw a freshly dug well,

with water shining and deep.

had no patience to wait,

went ahead and jumped.

initially..

it felt nice and soothing,

and then things turned.

I looked up to find...

I have jumped into

the darkness unmatched..

I wanted to get out of it,

to the light.

had no option but,

to crawl up the muddy walls.

i did.. tried.. took time..

and i reached nearly the top..

and then... it rained.

the muddy walls slipped,

and i was back in the well again.

trapped here now.. i wish..

there hadn’t been that summer,

when....

The Oasis..

barefoot he walks,

across the desert sand.
looking for an oasis,
he wanders along.
looks at the sun,
and then at
the mighty sand below.
pants and sweats,
but looses no hope.
illuded by a mirage,
again and again.
he finally decides,
its the wind,

that he shall follow.
but, not to where it goes,
where it's
intimidated to flow.
taking a deep breath,
he takes his steps.
and, a little further did he go,
there it was, he found

his oasis.

the changes.. the answer...

One morning you wake up and find everything has changed…. The colours around have become pale… the view outside your window is not that green anymore… The walk around the woods is not that lovely… neither is the fragrance of the air so alive… and the sleep ain’t that peaceful any longer……

You walk out looking for an answer to the maze… as a very normal human being, you try to ask the question to the familiar faces you had known…. To the faces that had been your strength and your weakness at the same time… But you don’t find them… you find yourself among faces unknown and strange….

Suddenly you find yourself as a loner among a myriad of people… with smiling yet un-friendly faces… You muster the courage to talk to one such faces… But they don’t speak the same language….. You want to talk heart but they are talking minds… they don’t understand you and neither do you understand them…

You think hard to figure out some faces which might be the same… You ride on to them…. Phew!! As you thot they didn’t change… You take a step ahead and looked for solace in them…. U did get a warm welcome but you realized that there is something that's missing… U shove the thot away.. and u ask them to play… but “sorry, we don’t have time”, they say… disappointed you leave the place…

You walk on, staring at the grey concrete… You put your hands in pocket and take out your loving music player… and finally you smile.. You plug in and play… but even the music didn’t sound the same… in a jiffy you pull out the earplugs… smash it on the concrete… and you stop and stare at the dead…

Confused you start to run… u donno where to go… you take this way.. and then that.. and then the other…. U donno if you took the right way… but you know that you need answers…. And you reach the sea… you take a deep breath and sit on the beach… and you see another change…. the is Sun setting in the East…

And now you give up on others…. You decide to ask the answers to yourself… You go home… You stand in front of the mirror…. And You get your answer.. They grew up.. but You remained the same!!!

Talking to Myself...

World doesn’t stop.. for you.. or for anyone else… so its better to keep moving slowly rather than making a stop… so at times, grab any opportunity that lies ahead instead of waiting for a better one… note – “at times”.

Time is the best healer… no matter how deeply hurt you are or were.. in months if not days.. in years if not months.. you will come out of it.. So chillax.. why worry?? ;)

Music is the best medicine….. Try it… when a little tensed, say before going to the stage for something… keep humming ur favourite tune and see the Magik :)

A light drizzle and a little wind.. esp along the beach is the most romantic thing out there… don’t u think so??? Try writing something… the words will be poetry.. trust me on that!!!

The most dangerous disease that I see as of today is the phone ring sickness.. When walking in the market or driving.. Invariably u will feel that ur phone is ringing and then not to much surprise it wouldn’t. : Advise – Its time to change ur ring tone!!!

Planning to go on a holiday?? C’mon dude… don’t plan… just pack ur bag and leave..

In ur bathroom, make sure u don’t, in any damn situation are either standing or sitting right below the geyser… U might not have Hitler’s luck as I had… :D

Find ur best friend in ur parents.. no matter how high u fly… and no matter how good a friend u have… ur parents are the only one who wouldn’t be jealous of you.

Thinking about oneself is not being selfish.. thinking ONLY about oneself is what is being selfish.. so, go ahead and think about urself, but not at the cost of the happiness of ur near and dear ones.

When in bad mood, switch off ur phone.. its better to introspect than to loose respect.. understand what I mean?? :P

Never take out ur rant on ur food.. it has got nothing to loose.. sole looser?? you!!

When something is really worrying you… and u really really don’t wanna think about it… watch a nice gripping movie… atleast it can help u in doing that for the next couple of hours. And “what after that?” Pal, start with another movie!!! ;)

There is nothing wrong in praying at times… believe it or not.. it does give u some peace and a little confidence.

U really want something? badly? how badly? Well, Dont say... show how much u really want that.. and u will have it. Provided other's dont show that they want it more than you do ;)

Nothing is impossible... Neither is anything difficult.. not even digging ur own grave!! Well, arent u digging ur own grave by smoking 10 each day. Think abt it. (P.S. I dont smoke. Its just a thought :P)

Feeling Lucky?

..no one knows it.. no one can see it.. no one ever plans it... it just happens... sending u in an unparallel shock.. too hard to get over it.. u sit.. ponder looking for words.. that would now define your life... or may be other's.......

a day sometimes begins with such unwelcome instances.. and you make up your mind... "look.. there may be some more to come... the day has just begun".. and you start for the day... expecting just anything !!!

An Un-Wanted Want...

"hum apni manzil ko paane ke liye kya kuch nahi karte... aur sab paane ke bad humen aisa kyun lagta hai ki humne zindagi se ye to nahi manga tha......"

..a line from a movie that hit me hard... real hard...

RANDOM THOUGHTS I

“Yara yahi dosti hai…. Kismat se jo mili hai….. sab sang chalen.. sab rang chalen.. chalte rahe hum sada……..”

Listening to junoon… with the remix sound of the tic tac from my lappy keyboard making the song a little more interesting……. My head is whirling these days… sometimes m all smiling and laughing my heart out with my frends for whom life is like a bed of roses curently… and the very next moment.. Somewhere inside me as well…. I got to be there for people for whom.. life is certainly not a bed of roses.. not at all……..

There are my frens who have found the love of their life…. Feeling ecstatic.. a little crazy….. yet always smiling.. and making future plans… thodi unki khinchai.. may be they say.. “sale chup karega”.. but deep down inside their hearts…. I know.. they have always longed to feel this.. and it makes them more happy than ever……..getting calls from their dream universities.. god.. life cannot be better than this.. and as al human beings… and the greedy nature.. praying the other one gets into the same universities.. and life turns from bed of roses.. to bed of lilies.. and then to bed of carnations… red ones… Midas.. as we all are… :)

Then there are my friends.. who have lost their jobs…. Some on the verge of loosing it.. some are just scared of loosing it….. some have been dumped by the ones they loved the most in their life.. while some others….. just trying to sketch their life in a better way……. And it feels helpless.. to be not able to do anything for them… and sometimes.. it hurts to give them consolation.. and show them the bright picture of life… when I myself know.. life aint gonna be easy for them in the near future as well… feels like m cheating on them by creating hopes in their minds.. cos when the hope will crumble down in a day or two.. they will stand lost again.. lost in their own eyes…. Or may be these hopes turn out to be true.. after all they are not bad.. its just that the situations aint right… and when the tide takes a U turn… life will be a bed of roses for them as well.. :)

“Tute na kabhi sath ye.. chute na kabhi sath ye… apni to hai yahi dua..
Chalte rahe hum tum.. yun hi badhte rahe hum tum.. khusiyon ke sang hum tum sada……..”

Praying and wishing a life… like bed of roses for all my frends…… cheers!!!!

S C i N T i L L A

A day begins with writing….

“Shadows or shapes.. Darkness eats all……………………..”.

Sometimes when you just donno why everything around you is going wrong.. and then suddenly one thing is so right that you do it again and again. This right thing can make you going.. when the tide wants you to head backwards.

Well.. if you look closely and look for what you want….. you can find that ‘right’ thing in just anything that you can see; a slight strum on the guitar can make you sing…… a simple tune can make you flow… a fragrant breeze can make you fly.. a few speaking rain drops can make you smile…. the marble moon can make you dream... and a dream can make you fall in love !!

‘Life’ sometimes requires to be redefined… ‘needs’ to be judged…. ‘desires’ to be calculated….. ‘wants’ to be weighed…. to make them look ‘bigger’… to make them look ‘easier’… to make them look ‘happier’…….

Nothing in the world is worth the price of ur happiness… get up.. start looking for the right thing…… trust me…. NOTHING 'can' be wrong… and even NOTHING 'can' as well be that very right thing…..

“Shadows or shapes.. Darkness eats all. What about a 'Scintilla'??”

:)

INTROSPECT..

This day you sit in front of your laptop.. in retrospect.. trying to gather what you expected your life after college to be.. and what it actually is.....

Well.. being a student of one of the finest technical institutions in india.. obviously you think of getting into a dream MNC..earning much more than your dad earned when he was of your age..having your own independent life..happy that you wont bother your indulgent dad anymore for money money and more money..infact you smile when you see yourself helping your dad with his finances..You see yourself in a metro city..where life moves with a pace faster than light..you see yourself..in a luxury flat.. may be rented..but still which is like your own.. beautiful..you have lot of money at hand.. you can do whatever you wish..buying mom a saree or a shawl every now and then.. and your dad an allen solly shirt..seeing which he might say “itna mehanga!!”.. but still you raise your collar.. and fill a sense of pride that you love your dad so much and you can afford it for him..You think may be after a year of work.. you will have your own.. santro.. or maruti..or any other small car for that matter.. (see you are practical and being reasonable in not thinking of a mercedes or bmw or even a honda or ford)..you see happiness beleaguering you..

The day comes.. you have made a lot of sacrifices.. or if you put it better.. you have taken a chance with your future.. you have skipped a lot many mnc’s that could have been a dream corporate of millions..but you just skipped cos it wasnt a dream for you.. your dream is yet to arrive and test you whether you deserve it to make it to reality.. or would it be dream forever..what if you are unable to convert your dream to reality.. oh god.. you are done.. you have already rejected a great offer.. or may be two great offers just to try your luck here.. what would happen.. you are tensed.. yet confident..

Things dont go as you think.. but still you make into it.. you got seleted... your ebullience can be seen clearly..but people are too pejorative at times.. everyone is like.. “why didnt you try for companies which can pay you more??”..”Well I haven’t heard of this one? Where is it?? What does it do?? Why didnt you try your luck in XYZ??” etc etc.. Well how will you explain that you actually turned down XYZ.. How will you explain you have turned down an offer which was already paying you more than your dream job.. arduous.. but then you think money is not everything..after all it cannot buy you happiness and satisfaction which only a good work, a good culture, a good ambience can..Your dream is paying you enough..and what you think matters more is the quality of work..If you are a communication engineering student you will definitely like to work with mobile phones and computers rather than making or managing databases and banking softwares for some patronizing american firm..You feel you will be doing justice to your efforts that you have put in last four years.. And now you began chilling..no studies..nothing..after all you got what you wanted.. you got what you have to do for rest of ur life..

Then one fine day you bid adieu to your loving college.. loving friends..the college life is over.. and the life of responsibilities was incipient..

You join the company..a dream come true..make new friends..some just stay colleague..and life moves on..one fine day you even find your match for life..oh god..nothing can be so perfect..you are completely satisfied..and with work..you are actually more than satisfied..you have got to do quality work..deal in bits and bytes..zeros and ones..god..Mobile Communication is just too complicated..but you are happy that you understand some of the most complicated technologies.. and you actually know how things work on which almost or rather everyone is so so dependent including our very own.. panwalas, rikshaw walas or sabjiwalas..:)....your frends have had so many trips abroad..they are not earning.. they are making money..but still you adhere to the same point..that you are happier..cos you do quality work and at the end you think money cant buy happiness ..

A year of your life is just about to get over..you have seen many things by now..your manager not inviting you (a fresher) to a lavish team dinner just by saying he doesnt have a budget..gosh..you wonder how did he know that you are a voracious?? [:P] You couldnt rent a flat and still live in a hostel.. cos flats are way above being affordable..You couldnt buy a cell phone.. neither a car.. how could you..you arent able to save anything..have you gifted your dad anything in last one year?? Oh yeah.. you did.. one allen solly shirt.. ohh just one?? Well.. that too on a credit card.. anything for mom?? Yes.. a shawl once.. six months back.. did you send any money home?? Well you didnt.. but yeah.. neither did you ask for money from your dad.. but your dad was indulgent enough to help you to buy a new HP Lappy!! After all you are his kid son and why should you not get what you want.. you need not ask for it.. he just knows it some how.. well.. Hmmm.. So what have you got for your prettly girl?? Nothing more than some.. some cards once in a while.. and a few loving smiles and some amorous words!!.. but still you are happy and complacent...

You cheer up.. you give in ur best to be accoladed as the Best Performer in the company..and you feel proud.. And then you desperately start waiting for the appraisal to happen..You think, all that you would do with your extra income of expected 7-8K a month.. You think of shifting to a new and better flat..a gift for dad and mom..a teflon coating for ur laptop..a new cell phone.. some pretty gift for your lovely girl.. wow.. dreams never end you see.!!

One fine day you receive a mail..

”This is your revised pay for the financial year 2008-2009..Congratulations..keep up the good work..”

You follow the mail below..down down down..Keeping fingers crossed yoy keep thinking.. 80k..no should be 1 lakh..or may be more..fingers still crossed..down..down..down...and there you find some numbers..you are dumb struck!! Just a meagre 30K..what the hell is this......your friends in some other firm will now be earning nearly double than you do..after all they got and increment which is nearly four times yours.. what is this??? And then you think.... Flat?? gone.. Cell phone.. may be next year!! what about a car.. well may be you are not made to drive one!! What about your dad and mom.. well they can obviously wait!! and your girl.......... phew.. you cannot do anything but crib.. you crib..crib more.. and more..but you cant do anything...

You come back to your bed (your only piece of home).. take out your laptop..sit down.. open word.. and start typing... You think and try to mark out anything positive that had happenend in the last one year since you have left your alma matter.. your college and have stepped into the real artful corporate world.. U think and realize.. may be you are doing quality work..but your friends who are earning lot more..who have seen half of the world by now.. a lot more prettier girls*.. they must be happier than you are..their parents must be happier than yours..their girl must be happier than your girl..they must be much much and much more satisfied with life than you are... after all.. money can buy happiness.. atleast in todays world, it does.......................................................

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