SAHI.. GALAT.. AUR YE ZINDAGI.

#google images

kabhi kabhi mujhe ye samajh nahi aata..

ki sahi aur galat ki paribhasha itni bikhri si kyun hain.

jo paschim me sahi hai.. wo purab me galat...

aur jo purab ke uttar me sahi hai.. wo wahan dakshin me galat..

agar hum iss sabhyta se hain to ye galat hai..

aur uss samaaj se hain to wo galat hai..

jo iss samay sahi hai.. wo beete waqt me galat..

aur jo beete waqt me sahi tha.. unpe to aascharya hota hai.

aadhi se jyada zindagi..

sahi aur galat ki uljhi hui gaanth ko suljhane me hi nikal jaati hai.

agar koi dili iccha bhi ho.. to pehle ye sochna padta hai..

kahin ye kuch galat to nahi.

humare saaare rishton ki buniyad sirf..

sahi aur galat pe tiki hoti hai.

chahe jitna bhi sahi kar lo.. par koi galti nahi honi chahiye.

aur ye kaun bhed kare ki kya galat hai kya sahi..

mujhe isska koi ilm nai.

hum apna sara dhyan.. zindagi bhar..

galtiyon ko dhundhne me laga dete hai..

khas taur pe dusron ki.

har kisi ko aaj apne se jyada dusron ki padi hoti hai..

ye nahi ki wo humari fikr karte hain...

bas shayad isliye..

ki auron, gairon aur..

khastaur se apnon ki zindagi ke chutkule lene me..

hum aur humare samaaj ki khaasi dilchaspi hoti hai.

agar mauka mile to shayad humara samaaj..

zindagi chalane ke liye bhi ek driving license jaari karna shuru kar de..

ki haan bhai ab tum apni zindagi me faisla lene ke kabil ho.

par usme bhi kitni aazadi hogi? shayad kuch bhi nahi.

zindagi ke har mod aur failse pe fir bhi..

humare bade.. rishtedar aur samaajik thulle khade honge..

nahi.. iss baat ki ijazat humara parivar nahi deta..

uss baat ki ijazat humara samaaj nahi deta.

aakhir kis baat ki ijazat hoti hai humen?

shayad sirf "unki iccha ke bina kuch naa karne ki".

parivar.. rishtedar aur samaaj..

sabko sath lekar chalein.. to chalna mushkil.

akele chalein.. to jeena mushkil.

agar hum zidd karke kuch khaas logon ko mana bhi len..

to sabse chhupana padta hai..

"baat ghar ke ander rahni chahiye"

ghum firke har kahani wahin..

sahi aur galat pe aa jaati hai.

chupane se kya haqeekat badal jaati hai?

aaj kise nahi pata.. ki lifafe me lipti botle..

sharab ki hai? nahi.. firbhi chhupana hai.

kya lifafa udha dene se..

uss insaan ke baare me humara nazariya badal jata hai?

nahi.. badalta hai to sirf humara nazariya zahir karne ka tareeka..

saamne ki jagah.. ab hum fusfate hain..

"ssshhh... kaisa aaadmi hai.. roz sharab peeta hai".

are peeta hai to peeta hai.. unki zindagi hai..

use karne do sahi aur galat ka faisla.

par nahi.. galat.. galat.. galat.

agar koi mujhse puche..

ki sahi aur galat ki meri paribhasha kya hai.

to main kahunga...

agar meri zindagi hai.. mera faisla hai..

to sahi hai.

aur meri zindagi faisla tumhara hai..

to galat hai.

naaa jaaane itni chhoti si baat ko samajhne me..

humare parivar, rishtedar aur samaaj ko..

kitna aur waqt lagega.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE..

It's been a while. Yes, I know. Normally, I do not write about what has been going on in my life. But, I guess my blog needs a explanation for the "it's been a while". To keep it short, a job switch comes with a heavy price of leaving the comfortable shadow of a homely city to the hustle and bustle of new one, the pain of parting with awesome friends and great colleagues.. but definitely you carry some awesome memories.

Settling down ain't easy either. The basic human needs like internet are not readily available most of the times. In a closed European (read German) society, meeting and making new friends ain't easy either. Then you have to find a new place to throw your paraphernalia's, which depending on your language skills could take tiresome 3-4 months or even more. 

However, you still try to find sometime for yourself (to do justice to the new city) and try to explore the city a little. In this adventure you meet some awesome people (some friends some acquaintances), visit incredible place (some vintage museum to some leisure walks) and sometime do crazy stuff (...errrr let's not go into that).

I moved to Düssledorf sometime in July last year, an incredibly expensive city for no reason whatsoever. Nevermind. I got to visit something like a museum, well more of a garage, that goes by the name of 'classic remise'. What a mesmerizing place for all vintage car lovers. From Mercedes, BMW, Jaguar, Audi, Alfa-Romeo... there is no end. From the names that ceased to exist with time and the names that are still creating history in their own sense. All at one place. I will stop saying anything more and let you have your peace with the preview... but you got to visit the place. Atleast, when you are in the city.

..for the merc lovers.

..the silver horse.

..that one roared. did you hear?

..as long as it could get.!

..have u watched that's 70s show?

..the glittering porsche!

grace.. space.. pace.. the Jag-Mark-V

..the style icon!

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♫ ♫ I came across an amazing folk-fusion band for Pune, India that goes by the name Empty cafe. Stumbled upon this masterpiece ~ wounded, empty cafe.

It’s hard not to hate..

courtesy# imgfave

It’s hard not to hate.. people, things, institutions. When they break your spirit and take pleasure in watching you bleed.. hate is the only feeling that makes sense.

But I know what hate does to a man. Tears him apart.. tears him in something he’s not.. something he promised himself he’d never become.

That’s what I need to tell you.. to let you know how hard I’m trying not to cave under the weight of all the awful things I feel in my heart.

Sometimes my life feels like a deadly balancing act.. what I feel slamming up against what I should do. Impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain.

When I look at my day.. I realize most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. In that life I have no future.. all I have is distractions and remorse.

..that's Jax Teller ..speaking my mind!

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♫ ♫ "And at that time I didn't know.. just how hard the wind could blow.. towards disaster and the things that i would see.." ~ the lost boy, greg holden

Yaadein.

courtesy# weheartit.com

kuch kuch beetin yaadein hai..

kuch saath bhi hai kuch tanhaayi bhi.

kuch kuch lambi sadkein hai..

kuch halki barsatein bhi.

kuch kuch tasveeron ki baatein hai...

kuch rangeen hain kuch berangi bhi.

kuch kuch adhure saaz hain..

kuch bhuli si nazmein bhi.

kuch kuch khusiyon ki titliyaan hai..

kuch pyaar bhi hai kuch ruswaai bhi.

kuch kuch jaagi raatein hain..

kuch hain din ke khwaab bhi.

kuch kuch filmon si kahaniyaan hain..

kuch muskaanein hain kuch siskiyaan bhi.

kuch kuch apnon se chehre hain..

kuch gumnaam se rishtey bhi.

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♫ ♫ "Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts.. It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black.." ~ paint it black, the rolling stones

Hai Pata Humhe..

courtesy# weheartit.com

hai pata humen ki hai ilm tujhe...

kya chubhta hai,

kya jalta hai.

hai pata humen ki hai ilm tujhe..

kya rulata hai,

aur kya khalta hai.

anjaan bane baithe jo ho tum..

de jakhm wahi,

jo na sambhalta hai.

hai pata humen ki hai ilm tujhe..

apno ke diye choton pe,

dard bhi jyada hota hai.

gar khushi tumhe mil jaye kaho to..

saanson ko main apni..

kal hi tumtak bhejwa dun.

hai pata humen ki hai hai ilm tujhe..

humse naa aise jeete..

naa marte banta hai.

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“You don't know about falling off cliffs, Prep­pie,' she said. 'You never fell off one in your god­damn life.'
'Yeah,' I said, re­cov­er­ing the power of speech. 'When I met you.” 

― Erich Segal, Love Story

Life moves on. Without you.

courtesy# weheartit.com

It was one final good bye.. about two months ago. At that time I was so unsure about this. I never thought we could pull it off.. I could pull it off.

August 31.. our last evening together. Oh boy.. what fun we had till wee hours of the morning. That one night when you didn't let me sleep.. and.. I didn't stop.

Then.. the very next morning.. the unfortunate happened. I fell sick. Initially we both controlled.. u seducing me.. I having you. But things only got worse. And then.. who would have thought that the physician would advice me complete abstinence from you.

Now.. When I go to a restaurant or pub.. I order a glass of orange juice.. enjoy it.. and then order one more. Life moves on. Without you.

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♫ ♫ "would you believe me when I tell you.. you're the queen of my heart" ~ Love Buzz, Nirvana 

You Can't Always Get What You Want.

courtesy# weheartit.com

once in a while you somehow get sometime to spend with yourself. just you.. and your self. you inevitably end up introspecting.. about your current state and crib about how an ordeal your life is turning out to be. believe it or not.. there are only a very few moments in life when you are satiated with your current state in life. then you go in retrospection and smile at all those wonderful moments life has given you.. the lovely moments that shall remain forever etched in your memory.. moments that you would love to relive again and over again.

let's say somehow your life as in current state is like a beautiful ride through a lush green european country side. picture perfect. well.. if not everything.. atleast somethings in life are always picture perfect. we either notice them.. or let them pass by failing to cherish them. it's how you and i are.. just human. nevertheless.. if you feel happy about something.. you end up dreaming about how much more wonderful it could be few days, months, or years down the line. you can see and feel colours all around.. bright.. vibrant.. happy. but optimism doesn't come to everyone of us very easy. sometimes.. its just the sign of a beginning.. when your life is somehow guided by 'how you want it to be'.

with time you would have fantasised so much about how wonderful life is gonna be.. that.. one small thing that comes out of equation sets you in a state of restlessness. either u get completely freaked out.. or u try to think of a plan-B. but that wont stop you from freaking out with a slight push off the edge once in a while. out of the myriad of stupid things god ever created.. human brain truly steals the show. it will always.. always always do.. what it must not. it will take you on to a horrible ride of how things are falling apart.. how everything is going left and not right.. instead of telling you that everything will be allright.

but.. the worse would yet be.. when you somehow land up in everything all at once.. together. when your feelings are mixed.. confused.. inexplicably strange. one moment you feel happy and next moment you are sad.. and then the very next moment you are scared. there is no easy escape from the labrynthine thoughts that you get tied to. you keep having altercations with and within urself.. the altercations that somehow either end abruptly.. or the ones that you dont know how to end. just like.. this one.

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.. but if you try sometime.. you just might find.. you get what you need. ♫ ♫

what went wrong?

Once there was this little boy. He loved small plants. But unfortunately he had none at his home. So, he thought of planting one on his own. Upon request, his dad bought him a small sapling, some fertilizers and a small pot.

The little boy gathered all the soil he could and filled his pot with it. Mixed the fertilizer well and planted his sampling. He, then later watered the sapling.

That night he dreamt that his plant has grown tall and also has some roses budding on it. He dreamed of how beautiful his plant looked with so many colours on it.

When he woke up in the morning, first thing he did was to run to his plant and check it out. He found that the plant was same as he left it yesterday. He thought maybe he didn't mix enough fertilizer and didn't give it enough water. He pondered that may be he shouldn't have kept it in the sun. His plant didn't grow because it might have been sweating under 45°C sun.

He brought the pot inside in the shade. Mixed the entire box of fertilizer in the soil and kept watering it every hour. He made it sure that there always was more water than the soil could actually absorb. His mom told him that he was doing it all wrong. And, so did his friends. But he didn't care what others said. It was “his” plant and how can others know better than him about it. He thought everyone hated his plant and wanted it to die.

Days passed by. The leaves of his plant started drying up. The only flower that was there when his dad bought the sapling home was also gone. And one day, his beloved plant died.

He could not understand what happened. He kept thinking what went wrong. He showered his plant with so much love and care. He always watered it. He made sure his plant was not left under the hot sun. He also kept mixing the fertilizers everyday. What else did his plant want?

Today he knows, too much of anything.. kills everything. And.. too much of everything.. kills anything.

image : tallulahbelleoriginals.com

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Listening to... Knockin' on Heaven's Door by Eric Clapton

Defining Fiction...

fiction is just an escape that was invented by people who wanted their real life to be less strange than it usually is... invented by people who couldn't accept the harsh reality that life brought with it... invented by people who always wanted to be heard and were ashamed to share what life actually had got them... invented by people who were running from themselves...

and by people who....... were strong enough to forget their worries and think about something else... by people who were optimistic about happily ever after... by people who taught us to have hope.... by people who taught us to fight and believe when no one believes in us.... by those who knew.. life could actually be different...

image: weheartit.com

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Listening to... No one is to blame by Howard Jones

Life...

image: weheartit.com

Scared! Scared of yourself.. Scared of your feelings.. Scared of your way of looking at life.. Scared of your belief on relationships.. Scared of unselfish friendship.. Scared of Your love for someone.. You are scared.

You are not sure what you will be doing a little later in life.. and you can’t even look out for the answer.. because.. you don’t even know what exactly you are doing right now! You are scared of the uncertain future.. just because you feel your present hasn’t been good the way you wanted it to be. You ask yourself same question again and again.. and again. You talk to your friends of the same things. You are scared of taking a decision. You want to win.. but you don’t want to play! You are scared of the sun’s heat, unaware of the light it brings.

Scared of coming in front of someone.. a special someone. Scared of looking straight into her eyes. And you ask yourself “why?”. But the question remains unanswered. You think all weird.. You put in every odd combination of time and place.. and then get scared. You think of her all the time, walking, driving, sleeping, and dreaming. You find her every where, class, library, market, playground, canteen and cinema. But then one day you realize your heart’s broken. Well.. somebody else asked her out and you were a little late. What do you do now? Think.. cry.. dream.. and start all over again.. a new phase. And then again you find yourself.. thinking of her. But this “her” may not be the same. And you are scared. Will it happen again? Will your heart be broken again? What if the former loves you and the later doesn’t? You lie down. Stare at the sky. Scared again! Scared of all the “what?” in your life.

You suddenly realized that people around you are selfish.. and may be the friends you thought you were very close to.. are not actually the best people one can be around with. They are certainly not the greatest you ever met. And then you tend to realize.. the people who are now too far from you.. are some of the most important ones in your life! But you fail to see that they too might be feeling the same way. They might be confused and scared as you are. You are still scared. Scared to make the first move to get them back into your life.

You are scared of where you are. You want to create a space for yourself in the crowd. You want people to know you.. You want your presence to be felt.. You try.. Your opinions get stronger.. and You get nosey. You look into the matters of others, and find yourself judging more than usual.. because you feel you have better answers for life. You tend to help people in every matter; people whom you think are your friend. But then one day you realize.. there were certain boundaries in your life and so in everyone’s life which are constantly adding things to the list of.. what is acceptable and what isn’t. You learn that you got to act differently in front of different faces. And you are scared again. Scared of putting up a wrong mask at a wrong place. Scared of being what you are not.

You are scared of changing yourself as required. You try to stick to your beloved past with your life and then you feel.. the harder you try to hold on to the past.. the faster it moves further and further away from you. Away! And then you aren’t left with any choice but to move on.. Move ahead with what you have – A bunch of experience. You laugh at yourself.. you cry.. you scream.. You feel alone.. Confused and Scared.

You are scared.. and so are others. Scared of everything.. anything. And that’s life.

02:00 AM, 16th March 2007

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P.S. Song for the post.. Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head 

Most of the time... it so happens..

most of the time..

it so happens...

most of the time..

it so happens...

that..

by the time u realise..

wht u "just" did..

it is "already"..

too late...

to undo what u've done..

most of the time..

it so happens..

that..

by the time u realise..

what u "just" said..

it is "already"..

too late..

to take it back..

most of the time..

it so happens..

that..

by the time u realise..

it "just" rained..

it is "already"..

too late..

to go out and dance..

most of the time..

it so happens..

that..

by the time u realise..

what u "just" dreamt..

it is "already"..

too late..

to make it come true...

most of the time..

it so happens..

image : weheartit.com

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P.S. Song for the post... I want to break free... by Queen

MANN HAI...

us parchai se pare,

aaj jeene ka bada mann hai.

kaale thande aasman ke tale,

aaj kho jaane ka bada mann hai.

aasha aur nirasha se pare,

aaj jeene ka bada mann hai.

jugnuon ko fir se dekh chamakte,

aaj hasne ka bada mann hai.

khwabon ko rakh pare,

aaj jeene ka bada mann hai.

gunguna kar un yaadon ko,

aaj rone ka bada mann hai.

rakh panno aur shyahi ko pare,

aaj jeene ka bada mann hai.

do labz us ghazal ke,

aaj dohrane ka bada mann hai.

us parchai se pare,

aaj jeene ka bada mann hai.

kaale thande aasman ke tale,

aaj peene ka bada mann hai.

image: weheartit.com

English bolni nahi aati?? Ch Ch Ch.....

The blog is the result of a video making rounds of FB walls these days. "Ye haal hai humare MPAs ka. Kya ye mulk chala sakte hain??" says the title of the video. A young 20 something chap is trying to ask a simple question to the politicians, "what is prosperity?". But, he has one constraint. They have to answer in English. I dont think the replies are important because the title of the video says it all. "Laughs".. That's our leaders.. "Our leaders".

It reminded me of another instance which was a very regular affair in the 90's. It was when Sachin Tendulkar was still a rising star and had to speak on receiving the MOM award, he was proudly making us indians ashamed by his lame english. Thats exactly what my Gen X/Y felt atleast. And same we said about Bhajji or any one who was actually making us more ashamed on the world podium by their stupid english than making us proud by their star acts.

"S&%le to English bhi bolni nahi aati", was a common expression we all used. I have a question. Were we justified in doing so? Were they really making us ashamed by their paralysed english or making us proud by making it to the national team and then playing like a star at the age of "just" 16?

If we talk about our very own Politicians, well I don't generally support them but talking about Lalu I can definitely say one thing, what he did to the Indian railways, an English speaking Nitish Kumar or Mamta Banerjee cannot ever do that. He reformed the IR from a loss making organization, intimidated to be landed into the private hands to the most profitable Indian organization during his reign. And our English speaking lady from Bengal hasn't paid Taxes to the government saying IR doesn't have enough funds and the profit ain't much. Lalu even though not knowing English has been one of the few politicians to make to the IIMs which even our oxford educated PM haven't had the privilege of.

We are ashamed if we don't know English while we are proud of not knowing our own Hindi, the national language. If I ask all those literate people of my country or better said my "Gen" who were ashamed because Sachin didn't knew English, I can bet, not even 10% would know how to write their own name in hindi let alone the numbers or kaa, khaa, gaa, ghaa. I wonder who should be ashamed. Sachin or Us?

We want to make the firangs know that we know their language and we are equal to them. And the fact stands that they have just been successful enough to make us feel that learning their language is a necessity for us. I wonder how wonderful it would have been if they would have found it more important to know our language. Isn't it? But why would someone find it important when we ourselves are ashamed of our own language.

Its high time that we feel proud of ourselves.. Of what we are.. Of what we have.. Of what is ours.. and of what we do... We may be driving a Ferrari, but still we are no one if we loose our own identity. Language is one of our such identities which makes us, Us. It took 5000 years for Hindi to evolve, and its not worth giving up something for 200 years of slavery. The sooner we understand, the better it is for us.

P.S. Well, actually the blog is a result of no work in office. :P :P