once in a while you somehow get sometime to spend with yourself. just you.. and your self. you inevitably end up introspecting.. about your current state and crib about how an ordeal your life is turning out to be. believe it or not.. there are only a very few moments in life when you are satiated with your current state in life. then you go in retrospection and smile at all those wonderful moments life has given you.. the lovely moments that shall remain forever etched in your memory.. moments that you would love to relive again and over again.
let's say somehow your life as in current state is like a beautiful ride through a lush green european country side. picture perfect. well.. if not everything.. atleast somethings in life are always picture perfect. we either notice them.. or let them pass by failing to cherish them. it's how you and i are.. just human. nevertheless.. if you feel happy about something.. you end up dreaming about how much more wonderful it could be few days, months, or years down the line. you can see and feel colours all around.. bright.. vibrant.. happy. but optimism doesn't come to everyone of us very easy. sometimes.. its just the sign of a beginning.. when your life is somehow guided by 'how you want it to be'.
with time you would have fantasised so much about how wonderful life is gonna be.. that.. one small thing that comes out of equation sets you in a state of restlessness. either u get completely freaked out.. or u try to think of a plan-B. but that wont stop you from freaking out with a slight push off the edge once in a while. out of the myriad of stupid things god ever created.. human brain truly steals the show. it will always.. always always do.. what it must not. it will take you on to a horrible ride of how things are falling apart.. how everything is going left and not right.. instead of telling you that everything will be allright.
but.. the worse would yet be.. when you somehow land up in everything all at once.. together. when your feelings are mixed.. confused.. inexplicably strange. one moment you feel happy and next moment you are sad.. and then the very next moment you are scared. there is no easy escape from the labrynthine thoughts that you get tied to. you keep having altercations with and within urself.. the altercations that somehow either end abruptly.. or the ones that you dont know how to end. just like.. this one.
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.. but if you try sometime.. you just might find.. you get what you need. ♫ ♫