Tuesday, June 03, 2008

INTROSPECT..

This day you sit in front of your laptop.. in retrospect.. trying to gather what you expected your life after college to be.. and what it actually is.....
Well.. being a student of one of the finest technical institutions in india.. obviously you think of getting into a dream MNC..earning much more than your dad earned when he was of your age..having your own independent life..happy that you wont bother your indulgent dad anymore for money money and more money..infact you smile when you see yourself helping your dad with his finances..You see yourself in a metro city..where life moves with a pace faster than light..you see yourself..in a luxury flat.. may be rented..but still which is like your own.. beautiful..you have lot of money at hand.. you can do whatever you wish..buying mom a saree or a shawl every now and then.. and your dad an allen solly shirt..seeing which he might say “itna mehanga!!”.. but still you raise your collar.. and fill a sense of pride that you love your dad so much and you can afford it for him..You think may be after a year of work.. you will have your own.. santro.. or maruti..or any other small car for that matter.. (see you are practical and being reasonable in not thinking of a mercedes or bmw or even a honda or ford)..you see happiness beleaguering you..
The day comes.. you have made a lot of sacrifices.. or if you put it better.. you have taken a chance with your future.. you have skipped a lot many mnc’s that could have been a dream corporate of millions..but you just skipped cos it wasnt a dream for you.. your dream is yet to arrive and test you whether you deserve it to make it to reality.. or would it be dream forever..what if you are unable to convert your dream to reality.. oh god.. you are done.. you have already rejected a great offer.. or may be two great offers just to try your luck here.. what would happen.. you are tensed.. yet confident..
Things dont go as you think.. but still you make into it.. you got seleted... your ebullience can be seen clearly..but people are too pejorative at times.. everyone is like.. “why didnt you try for companies which can pay you more??”..”Well I haven’t heard of this one? Where is it?? What does it do?? Why didnt you try your luck in XYZ??” etc etc.. Well how will you explain that you actually turned down XYZ.. How will you explain you have turned down an offer which was already paying you more than your dream job.. arduous.. but then you think money is not everything..after all it cannot buy you happiness and satisfaction which only a good work, a good culture, a good ambience can..Your dream is paying you enough..and what you think matters more is the quality of work..If you are a communication engineering student you will definitely like to work with mobile phones and computers rather than making or managing databases and banking softwares for some patronizing american firm..You feel you will be doing justice to your efforts that you have put in last four years.. And now you began chilling..no studies..nothing..after all you got what you wanted.. you got what you have to do for rest of ur life..
Then one fine day you bid adieu to your loving college.. loving friends..the college life is over.. and the life of responsibilities was incipient..
You join the company..a dream come true..make new friends..some just stay colleague..and life moves on..one fine day you even find your match for life..oh god..nothing can be so perfect..you are completely satisfied..and with work..you are actually more than satisfied..you have got to do quality work..deal in bits and bytes..zeros and ones..god..Mobile Communication is just too complicated..but you are happy that you understand some of the most complicated technologies.. and you actually know how things work on which almost or rather everyone is so so dependent including our very own.. panwalas, rikshaw walas or sabjiwalas..:)....your frends have had so many trips abroad..they are not earning.. they are making money..but still you adhere to the same point..that you are happier..cos you do quality work and at the end you think money cant buy happiness ..
A year of your life is just about to get over..you have seen many things by now..your manager not inviting you (a fresher) to a lavish team dinner just by saying he doesnt have a budget..gosh..you wonder how did he know that you are a voracious?? [:P] You couldnt rent a flat and still live in a hostel.. cos flats are way above being affordable..You couldnt buy a cell phone.. neither a car.. how could you..you arent able to save anything..have you gifted your dad anything in last one year?? Oh yeah.. you did.. one allen solly shirt.. ohh just one?? Well.. that too on a credit card.. anything for mom?? Yes.. a shawl once.. six months back.. did you send any money home?? Well you didnt.. but yeah.. neither did you ask for money from your dad.. but your dad was indulgent enough to help you to buy a new HP Lappy!! After all you are his kid son and why should you not get what you want.. you need not ask for it.. he just knows it some how.. well.. Hmmm.. So what have you got for your prettly girl?? Nothing more than some.. some cards once in a while.. and a few loving smiles and some amorous words!!.. but still you are happy and complacent...
You cheer up.. you give in ur best to be accoladed as the Best Performer in the company..and you feel proud.. And then you desperately start waiting for the appraisal to happen..You think, all that you would do with your extra income of expected 7-8K a month.. You think of shifting to a new and better flat..a gift for dad and mom..a teflon coating for ur laptop..a new cell phone.. some pretty gift for your lovely girl.. wow.. dreams never end you see.!!
One fine day you receive a mail..
”This is your revised pay for the financial year 2008-2009..Congratulations..keep up the good work..”
You follow the mail below..down down down..Keeping fingers crossed yoy keep thinking.. 80k..no should be 1 lakh..or may be more..fingers still crossed..down..down..down...and there you find some numbers..you are dumb struck!! Just a meagre 30K..what the hell is this......your friends in some other firm will now be earning nearly double than you do..after all they got and increment which is nearly four times yours.. what is this??? And then you think.... Flat?? gone.. Cell phone.. may be next year!! what about a car.. well may be you are not made to drive one!! What about your dad and mom.. well they can obviously wait!! and your girl.......... phew.. you cannot do anything but crib.. you crib..crib more.. and more..but you cant do anything...
You come back to your bed (your only piece of home).. take out your laptop..sit down.. open word.. and start typing... You think and try to mark out anything positive that had happenend in the last one year since you have left your alma matter.. your college and have stepped into the real artful corporate world.. U think and realize.. may be you are doing quality work..but your friends who are earning lot more..who have seen half of the world by now.. a lot more prettier girls*.. they must be happier than you are..their parents must be happier than yours..their girl must be happier than your girl..they must be much much and much more satisfied with life than you are... after all.. money can buy happiness.. atleast in todays world, it does.......................................................



24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Life is all about Long run..These all hurdels come in life...It doesnt matter even if ur friends earn more than u..Just wait ,work your heart out and watch everything will be fine !!!


Remember I Am with forever and ever!!

Rupesh Agarwal said...

yeah firefly... i know..

but thats human nature to crib for a while.. and u know what... these small things or rather big things make u learn.. and teach you that you should not expect anything from life..

thanks for dropping by!
:)

Ellen said...

I have seen many in the same boat as you are, heard them all. But you know what, just stay in there punching hard. And that means giving your job your best shot, or surveying the field of opportunities and grabbing the best one there is, or improving your craft wherever you may be. The rule of thumb is 'keep on punching' and soon enough those obstacles will crumble down and free the way to your dreams.

Wish you all the best.
Blessings to you and your family.

Musings!!!! said...

this post expresses what every fresher feels.....wonderful post......somehow expectations never match up with reality.....or is it just the insatiable human nature...

Unknown said...

Hello Rups, waah waah u have written so marvelously. Not many can express so honestly what they are seing everyday is their lifes.
Kudos to u and hang in there buddy..It will all b worth it wen u think back n say I have done it n in my own way.

Dio said...

u sketched out the next one year of 'fresher' life that so many of us wud be witness to.... very verrry touching n an eye-opener.... too good a post... hats off!!
and all the very best for yr dreams....

Rupesh Agarwal said...

Hi Ellen,

U are very right.. "keep punching" should be the main thought in our mind........ but the problem is.. but the thing is what to do when you dont have an ispiration for even that... trying to become what i was.. hope i would get back myself asap..

Regards,
Rup

Rupesh Agarwal said...

Hi Mini Ji,

"I have done it in my own way"..

Thanx a ton.. This was the best i could get from my post!! :)

Take Care
Rup

Rupesh Agarwal said...

Hey Anindya,

Hows you buddy?? hows life?? it tough life ahead.. be prepared.. Thats all i have to say!!

Take care and all the very best..
Rup

sharad said...

yaar wen u think about things in retrospect, u invariably feel ki if i had taken d odr path, i wud hv been happier..but, dat's past now..d best dat u can do is learn ur lessons and make sure dat wen d next time u make a decision, it is d one dat u wont question later on..ofcourse, dats easier said dan done..
waise, beautifully written..and i empathise wd u totally..
Here's an apt song dat describes our condition.."saare sapne kahin kho gaye, hai hum kya se kya ho gaye" :-)

Vani :) said...

hey rups...
well, i am pursuing the path of money... even that pursuit makes me happy. and i bet, with the closing line of your blog...

its not just happiness... you have money to spend on emergencies... like health issues... you have money to keep your parents to a lifestyle after the retirement... and you get to save for your own retirement... when the next generation will not care... so just take care... I am no one to preach...

Iris said...

wat can i say...u r a honest writer and one who puts forth his toughts honestly must be a honest man...and as far as i know honesty always pays...at the right tiem yes but it does... and i m sure people who care bout u dotn care about ur money and as for the rest of the world u dont have to give a damn...wat fun is it to have the money to buy everything, but not knowign what best to bye... everything needs sometime and patience so be it...it is easier said than done but i do believ you are that brave to face reality...but dont stop dreaming you nevr know when one might just come true, atleast don't repent then that you didnt dream big... all teh best.

Phoenix said...

may be we dreamt too big... but to ask for a modest home.. a cell phone n enuf money to take care of ur loved ones is not exhorbiant... what say rupesh... i'm also feeling cheated by life...

Rupesh Agarwal said...

hey sharad,

we both are on the same boat i feel... may be u have better inspirations to work harder... lolzzzzz..

beta padh le.. nahi to tere sapne aise khoyenge ki fir tu kuch bhi nahi kar payega..

:P

Rupesh Agarwal said...

hey vani,

cant tell u how much i respect ur thots.. well even i know all those.. but there is something that is holing me nback.. donno wat... trying to figure out... lets seee... hope u always be there for me as u have always been...

:)
rup

Rupesh Agarwal said...

hey pooooooooooooooooooooooo..

well thanx for the complements.. he he.. "dont stop dreaming you nevr know when one might just come true, atleast don't repent then that you didnt dream big.".. thanx a ton... nothing more can be said..

misss ya loads..
rup
:)

Rupesh Agarwal said...

hey sweetsmile,

well i donno what to say.. u also feel the same?? hmmm.. well it seems u know me pretty well.. or may be not... but anyways.. all the best.. 'god has better plans for u than u have for urself".. thats all i can say!!

good luck.
:)
rup

DiarySoul said...

Touchy a bit, Many might not agree that money can buy happiness but in this world of today it is true at some point.
But we push ourselfs not to believe the fact, let it be anything.
The truth is bitter!

(I am here now to bother you! ;-) )

Rupesh Agarwal said...

Hey diarysoul..

i cent percent agree with you... truth is bitter....

welcome!! will wait to get bothered :)

tc
rup

Anonymous said...

kya baat hai...tu toh writer ban gaya!!!!
very well written....complete in almost all respects...be it vaocab..be it the flow of thoughts...or be it the continuity...
just got this bollywood song for u..." zindagi ki yahi reet hai...haar ke baad hi jeet hai" !!!
so...just chill...good times are awaiting us all...

Anonymous said...

friend money might be very important. But not so much that u give up ur dreams 4 it.

priyanka said...

see if u hd got all u expected ,the mere car or say gifts u wanted to buy for special ones n all d money n other not-imp stuffs, u wud never look for new opportunities. Rupesh u hv no ideas wht career heights u r supposed to reach , money is d least scale to judge ur success or career..Believe me, if u don think abt money now u wud never hv to think abt it ever again..All d very best with wht u started to persue.

Instant Karma said...

Hi Rupesh,

Ravi here. Very matter of fact post....very true. ..very honest. Good yaar....and yes i am one of those who are going for the money....ofcourse money can buy happiness u just need to know where to shop for it.. :P just kidding...i love my work too..buddy cribbing is so good for the soul...kabhi saath baith kar crib karte hain..:)

abhishek sharma said...

rups bura mat maniyo...but buniya samaan tha...