Feeling Lucky?

..no one knows it.. no one can see it.. no one ever plans it... it just happens... sending u in an unparallel shock.. too hard to get over it.. u sit.. ponder looking for words.. that would now define your life... or may be other's.......

a day sometimes begins with such unwelcome instances.. and you make up your mind... "look.. there may be some more to come... the day has just begun".. and you start for the day... expecting just anything !!!

An Un-Wanted Want...

"hum apni manzil ko paane ke liye kya kuch nahi karte... aur sab paane ke bad humen aisa kyun lagta hai ki humne zindagi se ye to nahi manga tha......"

..a line from a movie that hit me hard... real hard...

ek chala main raahi..

ek chala main raahi..
us raah me..
jo meri thi hi naa kabhi..

bas dhoop hi dhoop..
na chaaon..
na paani tha kahin..

chalta gaya main ye soch..
bandhu rasta hai kathin..
to manzil hogi yahin..

nikal gaya itni door..
ki fir naa dikhe koi manzil..
na rasta aur koi..

juta himmat..
ulte kadam..
chal to chuka hun main abhi..

par wo mode..
jahan hui thi galti..
jane ab milega ya nahi..

waqt na thehra tha mere liye..

waqt na thehra tha mere liye....
kaha usne jee le jitna jina ho abhi...
ek baar main chala gaya..
to fir laut ke na aaunga kabhi...
nasamajh main..
samjh na paya uski baat ko..
kho diya us pyaare lamhaat ko..
fir aaj baitha hun..
un lamho ko dobara jine ke liye..
maine manga usse.. dede yaar ek aur mauka mujhe..
mauka diya to hai usne mujhe..
par sirf..
uski yaadon ko shabdon me pirone ke liye...

IT'S A BOY GAL THING - II

Hero : “Where is the train halting now?”
The Man : “Its in the yard.. New Delhi Rly Station…”

Hero gets down from his upper birth… Not much surprised but a lil pist off to not find his shoes…

Hero : “Shoes??.. Where are my shoes?”The Man (Laughs) : “kids who come to the yard to take away the left overs… must have taken your shoes.. by the way.. your luggage is at the security.. show ur ticket and collect it from there..”

Hero moves out… collects his bag from security.. Barefoot he walks out of New-Delhi station towards the Taxi Stand……

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Heroine : Hey, I gotta talk to you regarding something. Bolun…Hero : Permission granted.. shoot.
Heroine : Wo… Can we go somewhere else?
Hero : You can speak up here.. not a problem maam.
Heroine : Yaar, wo kya hai na ki… I really like you! And…..
Hero kinda got the clue of whats gonna come. He was looking in her eye and could sense the amount of nervousness she was going thru.. but still he waited…. Looking straight at her…

Heroine got a little more nervous and she just lowered her eyes as she could not muster the courage to look into the eyes of a very good friend and see that her words to follow might end up her loosing him forever.. confused.. and still eyes lowered.. she continued………

Heroine : I know its kinda weird and.. and.. I may not be that lucky.. But.. but.. I couldn’t keep it within myself any more… for past few days or.. or… may be weeks I kinda.. kinda.. have fallen for you…
Hero still looking at her.. amazed and confused himself… he doesn’t know what to say so he just kept hmmming all the while she spoke.. at the back of his head what was going on were several emotions… “wow.. I couldn’t believe it”.. “oh shit.. what am I supposed to say.. yes.. no..”.. “yeppe”… “yaar should I better ask for some time?”.. phew…….

She looked at him… saw the expression on his face… a little pessimism surrounded her and the immediate thought was “I shouldn’t have done it.. shit”.. gathering some courage and noticing that the hero is avoiding to look at her….. she continued….

Heroine : I know I shouldn’t have said it.. but.. but.. hmmm.. nothing.
No one spoke for quite some time… Hero continued to look away from her… deep in thought.. thinking what to say… Heroine continued to stare at her tea… waiting for the hero to speak.. thinking… “gotdamit say something stupid”..

Hero : Coffee? I mean…. Not here… may be somewhere else?Heroine (nervous and confused.. doesn’t have any clue what the hero gotta say) : Hmmm. Ok.
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They have their coffee waiting at their place.. Hero sipping the coffee.. and heroine staring and stirring her coffee continuously… she is more confused than ever.. no one spoke.. Hero had no idea of how to begin and what to say… Heroine had already done her part.. she cannot do anything but wait……

Hero passes a piece of paper to her.. it read….

“Hey, the coffee is pleading… please drink me maam. :)”
Heroine smiles… Puts down the spoon and takes a sip… and wrote back…

“So what does the coffee say now.”

“Thanks..” Wrote Hero.

She smiles.. musters the courage and writes….. “So…….”

“Yaar”.. Hero begins to write… Heroine sips her coffee in the meanwhile… tensed from within of wats going to come….. Hero continues….

“Yaar.. you know how it is… I have just been thru a rough patch and trust me I do not wanna commit the same mistakes again. I know you mut have given it a 100 thoughts before coming over… but… I lost a friend earlier, I don’t wanna loose you….. I mean.. I just donno wat to say….”
“Carry on”… She wrote.

“Yaar, dekh… its like….. I donno how u gonna take this… but.. neways…. You know what.. I had a huge crush on you sometime back… but I thot u try to keep a hand distance from people… I mean the way you are… Taking it as stupid infatuation.. and to top it.. never getting any chance to talk to u that time… I moved ahead….. I seriously liked you a lot.. and I like you even this day…. But… you know how it is…..”

“Confused… you are confused.. and making me a lot more”..

“Well…” Pauses for sometime before penning down his final words… Finally he wrote…

“Well…I need some time.”
She did not write any reply to this and returned the paper…… Hero reacts… expressions literally asking her “What? What does that mean?” and gave back the paper to her…. She wrote….

“:)”

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A well decorated bedroom…. And a nice looking cosy bed… The paper conversation at coffee well framed and kept on one side of the bed… and a closeup of the Hero and Heroine on the other side…… Hero sleeping.. and Heroine enters the room.. a lil in a hurry… She calls out….

“Get up…. You will be late for office…”
No reaction from the hero.. He doesn’t move at all… She moves towards him.. takes his arm.. and tries to pull him off the bed……

“Get up.. get up…. You cant sleep all day like this… get up..!!!”
Hero opens his eyes…. Smiles.. looks around… It took him a couple of seconds to realise… that he was sleeping in a railway compartment.. and another couple of seconds to recollect why he was here… After coming to his senses he asked the person who was trying all the while to wake him up…

Hero : “Where is the train halting now?”
The Man : “Its in the yard.. New Delhi Rly Station”

Hero gets down from his upper birth… Not much surprised but a lil pist off to not find his shoes…

Hero : “Shoes??.. Where are my shoes?”
The Man (Laughs) : “kids who come to the yard to take away the left overs… must have taken your shoes.. by the way.. your luggage is at the security.. show ur ticket and collect it from there..”

Hero moves out… collects his bag from security.. Barefoot he walks out of New-Delhi station towards the Taxi Stand……………

NOSTALGIA

When you look back upon ur life....
what would u remember?

would you remember you first day at school?
or, all those excuses that you made for not doing ur homework..
stupid enough to now make u smile on urself.. right?

would you remember ur games and free classes?
or, the drawing classes where invariably everyone was rising THE Sun behind THE two triangular mountains....
stupid enuf to think urs is better than his/hers.. :

would u remember playing cricket after exams with exam boards?
or, reaching school learning science when it was actually English paper..
stupid enough to make you now think how stupid you were..

would you remember that every story started as "Once upon a time.."?
or, that every story ended as "..and they lived happily ever after."
Fairy Tale.. thats what life used to be then....

would you remember those incoherent thoughts of dreaming BIG.
or, dreaming about what you want to be when u turn into a man.
stupid enough to make u now realize how impragmatic u were...

would u remember fighting over who ur best frend is?
or, those wonderful handwritten new year cards flaunting the words.. "to my best friend...."
stupid? not at all.. right? :)

would you remember how frequently you were punished in class?
or, those wonderful punishments that made you sit between the gals..
why aren’t we so wonderfully punished anymore? ;)

would you remember ur first crush on one of ur schoolmate?
or, the one you had on ur BIO teacher when you were in 7th grade..
ohh... she was certainly PREETIer than the gals!!!

would you remember how bad you felt leaving one school to join another?
or, how ecstatic u were to find new friends and start a new life..
Some of them.. who still are with you today!

would you remember, how every morning ur journey started on ur scooter..
or, how pantheistically u prayed for a gal to ask for a lift. :P
Certainly not anyone from ur school. :P

would you remember how suddenly studies became a serious matter?
or, the bunking classes and the movie shows..
and those game of cricket that went on and on and on.....

would you remember how tough getting into college was?
or, how easy was it to get a family far from home...
a family of friends.. :)

would you remember, your first nightout of life, spent studying?
or, the first day dreaming of the first serious crush u have just had....
wondering now, why u didnt ever tell her??

would you remember, the 760 acres of land you had under ur feet?
or, the 8x8 room shared by two most dissimilar characters in the college...
how brilliant u were to manage in such a small box for 4 years.. aint it?

would you remember, being out with frens enjoying ur heart out?
or, the silent candle light vodka/sutta night with Pink Floyd singing especially for u...
how lovely the next day turned out to be, being spent on bed! :P

would you remember, what all things the alma mater gave you??
or, what all things it heartlessly took away from you.. forever...
certainly, teaching u a lesson.. and thus giving u something in other words. :)

would you remember, how pathetically u were sweating inside during the job interview?
or, how exhilarated you were with ur first job, then second.. then third....
realising late, what it meant was THE END to a wonderful college life! :(

would you remember, yourself leaving the alma mater just before u started a new life?
or, the one that u are right now, completely different from ur own self..
ever realised, how urself and ur beliefs have transformed over the years..

So... what would u remember?
When you look back upon ur life….

RANDOM THOUGHTS I

“Yara yahi dosti hai…. Kismat se jo mili hai….. sab sang chalen.. sab rang chalen.. chalte rahe hum sada……..”

Listening to junoon… with the remix sound of the tic tac from my lappy keyboard making the song a little more interesting……. My head is whirling these days… sometimes m all smiling and laughing my heart out with my frends for whom life is like a bed of roses curently… and the very next moment.. Somewhere inside me as well…. I got to be there for people for whom.. life is certainly not a bed of roses.. not at all……..

There are my frens who have found the love of their life…. Feeling ecstatic.. a little crazy….. yet always smiling.. and making future plans… thodi unki khinchai.. may be they say.. “sale chup karega”.. but deep down inside their hearts…. I know.. they have always longed to feel this.. and it makes them more happy than ever……..getting calls from their dream universities.. god.. life cannot be better than this.. and as al human beings… and the greedy nature.. praying the other one gets into the same universities.. and life turns from bed of roses.. to bed of lilies.. and then to bed of carnations… red ones… Midas.. as we all are… :)

Then there are my friends.. who have lost their jobs…. Some on the verge of loosing it.. some are just scared of loosing it….. some have been dumped by the ones they loved the most in their life.. while some others….. just trying to sketch their life in a better way……. And it feels helpless.. to be not able to do anything for them… and sometimes.. it hurts to give them consolation.. and show them the bright picture of life… when I myself know.. life aint gonna be easy for them in the near future as well… feels like m cheating on them by creating hopes in their minds.. cos when the hope will crumble down in a day or two.. they will stand lost again.. lost in their own eyes…. Or may be these hopes turn out to be true.. after all they are not bad.. its just that the situations aint right… and when the tide takes a U turn… life will be a bed of roses for them as well.. :)

“Tute na kabhi sath ye.. chute na kabhi sath ye… apni to hai yahi dua..
Chalte rahe hum tum.. yun hi badhte rahe hum tum.. khusiyon ke sang hum tum sada……..”

Praying and wishing a life… like bed of roses for all my frends…… cheers!!!!

S C i N T i L L A

A day begins with writing….

“Shadows or shapes.. Darkness eats all……………………..”.

Sometimes when you just donno why everything around you is going wrong.. and then suddenly one thing is so right that you do it again and again. This right thing can make you going.. when the tide wants you to head backwards.

Well.. if you look closely and look for what you want….. you can find that ‘right’ thing in just anything that you can see; a slight strum on the guitar can make you sing…… a simple tune can make you flow… a fragrant breeze can make you fly.. a few speaking rain drops can make you smile…. the marble moon can make you dream... and a dream can make you fall in love !!

‘Life’ sometimes requires to be redefined… ‘needs’ to be judged…. ‘desires’ to be calculated….. ‘wants’ to be weighed…. to make them look ‘bigger’… to make them look ‘easier’… to make them look ‘happier’…….

Nothing in the world is worth the price of ur happiness… get up.. start looking for the right thing…… trust me…. NOTHING 'can' be wrong… and even NOTHING 'can' as well be that very right thing…..

“Shadows or shapes.. Darkness eats all. What about a 'Scintilla'??”

:)